Oh, the end of summer. I read of so many moms who are looking forward to it. Looking forward to the start of the school year. Looking forward to sending their children off to school. Looking forward to the quiet.
And, if truth be told, there are moments that I envy you. The quiet that you will enjoy.
I’m not there. I’m not looking forward to the end of summer. I’m not excited about the start of the school year. I don’t send my children off to school (and for that I am so grateful). I’m not looking forward to the quiet, because I know it isn’t coming.
What’s coming is a blur.
In addition to the home schooling, this year we also have music lessons, karate, bible quizzing, gymnastics, possibly ballet, gym time, game nights and I’m teaching a couple of classes here at my home.
In other words, I’ll be gone every.single.day. Sometimes to two different towns that are an hour apart. And we HOME school.
I am responsible for providing the education for two high schoolers, a first grader, a kindergartener, and a preschooler who is just now potty training.
I’m tired just thinking about it.
This year, it is to this that I am called.
I read this post today, that really helped me bring this all into perspective. This is what hit me, and made me stop and pause, admittedly with tears in my eyes:
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
For such a time as this.
This is what I’m here for. I am called to educate my children. To equip them to the best of my ability. To teach them to love God. To show them the beauty of His creation, in as many forms as I can.
The trick is to do that without losing sight of who I am. And busy doesn’t suit me. Busy makes me turn into a skeleton of myself. My soul gets lost along the way.
If you see me this year, driving around, looking a bit hollow, pray for me. I’ll need it. And if I pass by you without noticing, please forgive me. And if I spend the year grasping for creativity, understand that I’m holding tight to the me God made.
It is a season.
The truth is that God doesn’t call us to do something without equipping us for the call. I know that we’re doing the right thing for our children, but knowing that doesn’t always make it easy.
It may not be easy, but it is perfect.