At the beginning of the year, I indulged in fantasies of hours upon hours of sewing; all sorts of beautiful and handmade items making their way from my sewing machine out into the world; launching my way from hobby status into an actual business that could not only pay for my sewing habit, but perhaps help the household budget a bit.
Yet here they are. I cut out and stitched together the fabric needed for six new dolls. I stuffed three of them, embroidered faces, and attached hair. Three new doll beings nearly done, three more stitched together and still waiting for form. (You can see peaks of the three in process on my instagram.
My dreams of spending hours sewing has translated more into stolen minutes; a little here, a little there. Stuffing takes place while I work with Littles on reading. Embroidering takes place while I sit with them and work on numbers and math. The big stuff – selecting fabrics, sewing clothes and designing new patterns – that all happens on those days that I have an hour or so in between finishing school work and starting supper. Sometimes I can get a little bit done on laundry days when I’ve finished folding one load and the next isn’t quite ready yet.
This is my reality. To be honest, I get a little frustrated when I can’t create what I see in my mind, but I wouldn’t want to change much. I don’t want my children to go to school for hours a day. I want to watch them learn and help encourage them and guide them in their pursuits of knowledge and creativity.
I also want to be able to create lovely things and have always had an entrepreneurial spirit. So Husband and I have recently had a few conversations about how we can make both happen; how we can both fulfill our responsibilities joyfully and also fulfill our creative needs. One way is to be more disciplined with our time and another is to say no to a lot of happenings outside our home. For the most part, though, there isn’t much we can change. We have five very active children at home that I homeschool. We live 30 minutes away from town, 45 from the “big” town, so we’ll continue to drive. A lot. But when we’re home, we’ll continue to create in bits and smidgens. And we’ll continue to be grateful for this life we live that focuses on our faith and our family, with fun and learning and a pursuit of artistry for all of us. We’re also going to keep our short and long term goals in mind as we go from day to day, making mindful decisions and not just letting life happen.
And perhaps, in the next week or two, I’ll get three more dolls stuffed, and three others finished. That would be most satisfying.