Getting Back to Me

I feel like the last few years have been a blur. I know 2020 put everyone into a tail spin and it affected everyone differently. For me, it seems that even before then things were a little out of control. Between family needs, work needs, big life events, small aging events (hello perimenopause), young children growing into preteens, older children growing into adults, well, I think you get the picture.

In 2020, when so many people were suddenly finding themselves with more time, we had significantly less because of increased work requirements and sudden family needs. I’ve been having to find time in the day both physically and emotionally and 24 hours can only be carved out so many ways. So the result was that I stopped doing some of the things that I loved to do. I allowed outside demands to push aside many of my dreams, hobbies, and interests. And I got a little lost in the process.

But this summer, some other things have happened. My work came to a screeching halt. My garden, small as it has become in recent years, became deer fodder. Skyrocketing food and gas prices have me making more things from scratch and are keeping us closer to home. My family has been encouraging me to spend more time painting (I always felt guilty about taking that time). And I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.

My youngest three helped me move what’s left of our garden to a protected space. I’ve been revisiting some old favorite recipes (and learning some new ones). We visited a local farm yesterday to pick some blueberries because the deer ate ours, and we also picked up some amazing fresh peaches. I have seasonal vegetables on my counter (gathered from other farmers and growers) that are ready for preserving and stocking my freezer. I’ve returned to making our own butter and yogurt, and from the buttermilk I get to make homemade dressings for our salad. An oops batch of yogurt (the milk wasn’t as fresh as I thought) resulted in a batch of paneer with some amazing whey to use and share with our animals (who are very grateful).

And I feel like I’m breathing more deeply than I have in too long.

I love homemaking. I love knowing where our food comes from and preparing it with love and care. I love growing our food a giant garden. I love caring for the soil that nourishes our food which will then nourish our bodies. I love making things by hand rather than buying. I love gathering from a multitude of local farms and shops. I love being a stay at home mom.

I still need to make the time to continue my sewing work, as orders have been coming back in a slow trickle, and we’ll be embarking on a new school year soon with all the time demands and schedule changes. But I can now recognize how incredibly important it is to be true to who I am. Getting back to the me God created. It’s so refreshing and centering.

I know this sounds like an “all about me” post, but I write it in hope that it will help someone else. What part of you have you put aside for too long? Take some steps to embrace a lifestyle that sings to you. Plant the garden, even if it’s in a container. Take the class. Read the books that encourage you. Being a content mom (and dad) is so important in creating an atmosphere that allows your children to grow and learn, and it inspires them to pursue their own dreams.